“You just seem so…free.”

My friend studied me, eyes scanning my face for clues. It was last summer. We hadn’t seen each other in a while, and as we sat on a blanket watching the sunset, he was trying to figure out what had shifted in me.

Free? I remember thinking. No, I’m not free yet.
I began mentally listing all the difficult things I was carrying inside—things he didn’t know about.

And yet, he wasn’t entirely wrong. I had felt a little lighter lately as if some of the worry, distress, and burdens were lifting. So, I chuckled, “You know, I think I’m still a long way from being free, but I’m getting there.”

“Tell me how you got there,” he pressed.

I paused, careful not to slip into coach mode, and spoke from the heart. I shared my own struggles and what had helped me—daily movement, mindfulness, journalling, narrative therapy, the wisdom of Viktor Frankl and Edith Eger, and the powerful tools of Mindset, Acceptance, and Commitment Therapy.

I started to experience a powerful shift, realizing that true freedom isn’t about escaping life’s hardships—it’s about learning to hold both the joy and the sorrowfully, bravely, and in tandem. Feeling free and being free are two different things. And in the absence of true freedom — think Nelson Mandela or Viktor Frankl —we can still feel free. It’s about shifting how we relate to the struggle.

He listened intently, then leaned forward, his voice steady with conviction.
“Well, I’ll tell you one thing,” he said. “The moment I get a taste of that kind of freedom—no one is ever taking it from me. I’ll hold onto it, run with it, and never let it go.”

Freedom, autonomy, and self-direction are essential parts of a resilient life. They shape how we experience joy and allow ourselves to feel happiness.

Every day at work, I meet people who are longing to feel free again. They feel trapped—by circumstances, relationships, grief, or thoughts. The weight of their reality keeps them bound in what they describe as “heavy chains.” They come to me looking for a way out.

Here are just a few stories—shared with permission—of what that longing can look like:

ALEX

Alex has been married for over 30 years, but addiction took his relationship long ago. His wife cycles in and out of cocaine use, and they haven’t been intimate in 15 years. Now, he’s found a connection with someone new—a woman caring for a husband with early-onset Alzheimer’s.
“It’s incredibly difficult. I want to be closer, to move on, but we’ve both made this pact to the ones we married.”
What does freedom look like when love and responsibility pull in opposite directions?

LEAH

Leah lives with multiple sclerosis, manages a demanding job, trains for triathlons, and bravely opens up to dating.
Some days, her body betrays her; others, she pushes past limits most would never dare to test.
“Freedom? I’m not sure I’d call it that. I keep moving.”
She wonders if her movement will eventually set her free—or if freedom will finally allow her to stop.

JOHN

John, a young father, is raising a son with autism. He loves his child fiercely, but the weight of responsibility never leaves him.
“It’s like I’m never fully able to live in joy because I know what’s waiting for me at home. It’s hard to be his dad. But it’s what happened. What choice do I have?”
He cycles through anxiety, feeling both deep love and deep exhaustion.

These are real struggles. Real pain. But also real people longing to feel free—from grief, from duty, from the past, from self-doubt.

I tell my clients:

“True freedom isn’t about erasing struggle. It’s about shifting your relationship to it.”

Freedom isn’t a vacation or a few glasses of wine with friends—though, don’t get me wrong, those are wonderful too. Real freedom is standing in your reality with strength, clarity, and presence. It’s about feeling empowered to choose your path, unburdened by the past, and unafraid of what lies ahead.

In my work, I use evidence-based tools that help people create that sense of inner freedom—even when their outer world hasn’t changed (yet). A few of the most effective tools include:

Cognitive Defusion (ACT)

We practice noticing thoughts instead of being ruled by them.

“I’m a failure” becomes “I’m having thoughts that I’m a failure.”

It sounds simple, but it creates just enough space to stop reacting and start choosing.

Values Clarification

When people feel trapped, they often lose connection with what matters. Our sessions clarify values and align daily actions with them—even amid emotional distress. This work is empowering and energizing. It reconnects people to meaning.

Self-Compassion

Many people live in prisons built by their inner critics. Self-compassion offers a different path. Try these declarations the next time you’re feeling emotional pain.

This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is part of being human.
May I be kind to myself in this moment.
That pause changes everything.

We don’t erase the circumstances that weigh you down; we strive to build the resilience, emotional agility, and inner strength to move through them.
We create space where you once felt trapped. We rewrite the story.

We find freedom—not in the absence of struggle, but in the power to navigate it on our terms.

So let me ask you:

Where do you feel stuck?
What would it take for you to feel free?

How to feel free.